Impending Doom

I have forgotten how to use my logic for humor. I’ve forgotten how much fun it is to arrive at an entirely incorrect conclusion from a set of premises that have no basis in fact. That said, it must be time for me to be logical.

Life comes at a fast pace, so fast in fact, that I rarely seem to be able to keep up, let alone get ahead. To add to it, this fast pace is almost never ceasing. It constantly has us moving linearly towards our impending doom. The only time that time seems to stop (at least for me) is sleep. During this time, I seem to find myself not getting ahead of the game, but at least not falling any further behind. That said, I have come to the realization that since I can’t slow down time, or make it go faster, but I can at least seem to make it stop, that the best way to avoid my impending doom, is to find a way to make myself sleep indefinitely.

Of course, logic also dictates that if I am going to sleep indefinitely, I will need some assistance because for one… I can’t sleep unless it’s dark.  I also have a hard time sleeping when I’m sick, when there is loud noise, when people move me, or basically when I am disturbed at all. That said, I believe that the safest place to be to insure my ability to sleep continually would be in a box, with a built in bed. This well built box should be placed roughly 6 to 8 feet underground, as the ground will insure that the dirt above me should protect me from any possible noise that could wake me, as well as keep me relatively immovable, fairly warm (if they bury me somewhere without frost), and most importantly, in the dark.

I still need to figure out a never ending food source and oxygen supply… But I’m pretty sure that now that I’ve got the location setup and have figured out a way to stop time long enough those 2 things should be easily enough found…

Strangely though, God doesn’t seem to like people who try to avoid their impending doom… He seems to find ways to go after people who avoid their impending doom. Therefore, after all that well thought our research and thought.. I have decided that the best way to (not) avoid my impending doom is to stop finding ways to (not) avoid my impending doom and (not) live every moment to it’s fullest.