There are 10 days until the wedding. 10 days until I’m Mr. Justin Gehring. 10 days until I move out most likely for good. 10 days until I become responsible for not one, but two lives.
So on a deep level here (as deep as I get that is), what does this all really mean?
I have no clue.
Despite all my logic, all my planning, all my knowledge, all my experiences, all my observations. I have to admit, I’m scared shitless when it comes to the possibility of outcomes that could happen as a result of this one event. But that’s just it….
I’m doing this because despite all the possibilities, one thing holds true. That I want her to be a part of all of them. I want her to be there when JR makes it’s first million. I want her to be there when my first child is born. I want her to be the one that pushes me to be better. I want her to be the one that actually gets past my logic sometimes. I want her to figure out what’s bothering me. And most importantly, I want her happiness to come before mine (as much as is possible with me).
So why am I writing this? Is it to calm myself down? Is it be a sappy romantic?
It’s non of these.
I’m writing this because sometime in the future, I will be fighting with Amber. I will be more frustrated than I ever have before. I may even ask myself, “why in the world did I marry this girl.” And when that happens, I tend to look to my past… And just maybe, I will look back to the posts surrounding my wedding day, and maybe that will be enough to remind me that it’s not the fight that’s happening that matters. All that matters is that she’s the one you want to fight with (so go make up already, your probably wrong anyway!)