Another fine long day. I ran to school than ran to church. I met up with Derek where we spent much time doing very little. He’s a busy man, I just wish there was something I could do to help him get it all done.
I spent much of today pondering the last few days. I realized that I have been more confused about my own goals, intentions, motivations, and actions. I then decided I would try to sort these out again so I had a direct path for myself to follow.
For a moment I didn’t think I was going to come out of this thought process with anything. It just kept damaging my mood and I felt like I was going to get no where, anytime, ever. So this is why I went to see Derek. I felt like talking a little and I always remember having good talks with him when I went in to help with the website.
Needless to say by the time I got there I was no longer worried about life near as much because something had hit me while I waited for him to arrive. I remembered something that said you determine how you feel. This made sense. I could choose to feel bad, I could choose to feel good. Something still wasn’t right though, so I started going over what determines what is good or bad.
That’s where I stopped. I knew this would only lead to a headache and to possible insanity as I tried to define a system that has been in human nature for some time. So I went back to defining goals.
I then got interupted in my chain of thought and decided I would put this stuff off later tonight and just be happy until then reguardless of whatever it is what might be bringing me down. It feels good to be happy.