The big thing taught in health classes and drug prevention programs is the idea to stay away from peer pressure. I think they may be on to something here, but I do no believe the adults of America really know how deep peer pressure runs.
Adults seem to think that the problem with peer pressure is only of major concern when it is influencing you to do something bad, like drugs. For a teenager this is not the case. Positive peer pressure can be just as damaging during this time of growing.
It’s like this: We feel what we feel because we don’t know how we should feel. People then pressure us into feeling happy, or sad, or however THEY think we should feel. This allowing others to pressure us into being happy then creates more pressures for how we think we should be.
When a teenager then tries to live up to these ideals, they crash. The goal is set to high and they do not know what else to move onto. Now I say this in a generalizing manner, because I know this is not true of all teenagers. If it was, well… I’m not currently in futurist mode so I could not guess what would happen. I figure though in 30 years, its possible that life will have found some way to stop this problem with children so that they are always happy.
To make the long story short, I am sick of living up to standards that I set for myself that others help me to set. I want to go back to my orginal goals in life that people said were jokes. I want to sit on a park bench with the girl I love and talk. I just want to be with them, thats all.
It can be raining, it can be sunny. It can be night, it can be day. It does not matter. Love and talking. That is all I ever really wanted.
Either way, the night was a blast. I spent it with my friends just hanging out playing DDR, talking, and eating DQ. It may seem like very little, but overall these are the times in life that I think I will remember most. I remember the looks on people’s faces. I remember their actions. I remember what they ate.
The thing I remember most though, and that will bother me for awhile here, is my childish actions flipping with my adult mode. I know some of the things I did were childish. Heck, I was even playing muppet songs on the car stereo. It seemed fun, but it seemed harsh. I had forgotten how harsh I was as a kid. My adult mode is almost exactly the opposite. It is quite, somewhat lonely, and just wants to sit and listen. It has no need to talk. It does not talk about its problems. It is the mode I use at the college. I do not think I know how to handle either one of these modes anymore, and therefore regret doing things after I have done them.
This just means I need to think more before I do. I just wish I knew how to trigger those mind blocks again.
I need some liquid again. I’ll write more later.