So it’s snowing here in Minnesota again. Yeah, I suppose that’s normal this time of year. At least we got to enjoy a few warm days of spring. Hopefully soon, summer will be here, and we can all enjoy it. It will be the summer of our senior year. Probably the last real summer any of us will know. Maybe not… Maybe we will get summer in college, but I don’t know, I have a feeling it just won’t be the same, but that too, is ok.
Did I mention Sim is gone in Florida? I kinda wanna be there right now. I haven’t been to Disney World in awhile, and despite how much I really don’t want to go back, I do. It truly is one of my most happiest places on earth. I actually used to consider it one of my safe spots. Safe spots are good. Places you can go when nothing makes sense and you don’t have the time to figure them out… So you go to a safe spot, a place where time just seems to stop because of the magnificence around you. It can take your mind farther away than you may have already put it. It can bring you peace. It can remove any doubt you may have had about God, Love, or the future. Simply speaking, it is nothing short of a miracle.
Ironically, safe spots can die. Safe spots can be created. I used to have a safe spot in the Math Room *now known as room 112* at my high school. I can remember hiding there during the open house before 10th grade. I would go and sit and look around. The tiles, alternating red and white. The tables smooth with two holes in the top of them for things like physic’s stands and dropping pencils threw. The comfort the room brought me probably had nothing to do with the scenery. It probably had nothing to do the noise level, the lighting, the people. It had only to do with memories.
I could go there and sit and remember classic conversations that started everything with past loves. I remember the circle debate, how many sides and why. Of course there are only 3 good answers to that problem: infinite – calculus says this. Zero – Geometry says this. And 2 *Inside and Outside* – Mr. Simone says this. I can remember helping each other with math homework. I can remember talking about art. I can remember taking a picture of the top of her head. I would post it, but I’m not really suppose to have it. My mind then would wander further into my first real hand holding, my first real hug, my first real kiss. A lot of firsts for me, some of which have slowly but surely faded away in my head. But still, the memories remain.
I remember what used to be claimed as being the happiest day of my life, it has now become the second, but still.. I can remember Valleyfair. A day of nothing but fun. We rode every roller coast. We rode the wave at the end of the day. Nothing made sense, and yet, everything made sense. It was the last day I remember the peace. Amazing how that works isn’t it.
But like I said, that peace can be found elsewhere, and safe spots can move. Right now, I’m a really big fan of my bed room. I can sit in the middle of it with a candle and just look at the walls. The walls show me all the memories of my life that matter. Almost everything on my wall is something good, and the few that are bad, all have good outcomes. It’s as if a testament to me saying, see look, everything turns out all right. It’s a good place to be if your down.
It’s ironic how that’s not where this post was going. I had no intention of letting all of that surface for this post, but somehow it flowed out of me. It probably has something to do with Jamba Jam yesterday.
I left school after my last class and headed for church. I got there around noon, just as Derek was leaving. I don’t really remember why I was heading there.. Probably because it’s one of the few other safe spots I have in Woodbury. Derek took off with his family while I walked around the church. Well, here comes another memory… I talked with Shayna (*sp*), which, if you know who she is, can sometimes be a challenge. Memory time…
I think I have done this one before in some other post, but I don’t remember when or how, so I’m going to start it here. Back in 8th grade, perhaps 9th… I was involved in a church drama called True Love Waits. I was kinda drafted because the people involved knew me and they really needed another guy to do it. It was never anything I really wanted to do, but I guess that was beside the point. We had a few practice’s, and for those of you who know my acting skills… They are meant for improve, not scripts. So I always didn’t have it word for word, just had the gist. Either way, the practices were practices and sooner or later they actually had me singing. That was rare for me as well, and because I wasn’t always singing, I felt kinda weird… I was a person between choir and between acting so I didn’t really belong in either. Utility guys…
Well, I remember clearly the night before the show. We had a sleep over up at church. I remember feeling a little uncomfortable about going for the same reasons above. I considered all of the people at church my friend, but no one I really knew. Wasko was about the only person I really knew, and at this point in time, he was having to much fun chasing the girls to try to keep me up to speed. Dave was cool too, but he and John had a better bond due to choir, so again, it was kind of like me as a third wheel. That’s ok though…
Somehow, Shayna, Katie’s mentally handicapped sister, started following me around. I talked with her as best I could, and we seemed to come to some sort of understanding that night with each other. Maybe because we both didn’t really fit in with the group, or maybe just because we needed something to talk to. I can remember that night that we played hide and go seek, and she ended up being with me mainly because we were getting along and because she needed someone with her. I remember it being fun and that we all had a good time scaring each other in the dark. It’s kind of fun to be in your church when all the lights are off..
I think what was really cool about that night thought was some prayer time we had towards the end of the night. I guess this is where I made a connection with Dave. Dave is a cool kid. He’s one of those people in my life where our friendship has never really been based in anything other than an understanding that the other person cares. I remember talking to him about a multi-track recorder he wanted to get and how I thought that would be really cool and fun to have. I used to do some multi-tracking stuff on my computer, so I could only imagine what it would be like with raw sound. Either way, Amber just called so I lost my train of thought, let’s see if I can bring it back to the story I was telling earlier…
So after wandering church, I went home and looked into finding a place to skate. I picked up a pair of roller blades with Nikki on Wednesday, and since then I’ve been looking for chances to use them.
I found out the roller rink had open skate until 3 so I thought about going up there but Amber wasn’t home, Sim‘s out of town, and Beth and Nikki had to work. So I op-ed out and found myself back at church. I ended up putting my skates on anyway and going around the youth room for awhile then taking a short nap until Derek arrived.
I helped Derek out a little and then some people arrived for Jamba Jam, so we all loaded up and headed out there in what was not such good weather to be driving in. The two people that were with besides me and Derek was Melissa and her best friend, who’s name is kind of slipping my mind. There are basicaly 3 stories I’m going to write about here…
The first one is on our way there, they started doing this crazy saying which I couldn’t put my finger on until they told me my sister was in the same homeroom that this was created in. The saying went like this. “Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a room. A round room. You can die in a round room. So I began to dig. That’s when the worms came. Worms make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once….” and you get the idea. It’s kinda stupid but it sticks with ya.
At Jamba, somehow they got on the topic of marriage. Apparently Melissa is married to her best friend that she brought with. They have like 6 kids, plus two from a previous relationship Melissa was in. Of course, non of them are real, but it was a funny conversation anyway. Somehow though, I ended up mentioning that I once asked someone to marry me *(seriously)* and it caused this whole thing of shock and disbelief on behalf of Derek and girls. So I explained to them how it happened, and it ended up leading to this conversation of relationships in high school, college, etc. and love. It was a really good conversation, more than I care to post here and now.
So, the last story, was on the way home of course. And to make that one really short. Melissa had to pee. Yep, really. She did. Ok, that’s all I really wanted to say about that too. I have a few of Derek’s stories to insert here, but the only reason they were told was because we were stuck in traffic. I don’t really feel like telling them to you now.
After I was done up at church, I came home and ended up crawling in bed. Go figure…. I ended up sleeping past BMW and all the way into 1am the next morning. I walked upstairs to check my AIM messages and of course, someone REALLY need’s VB help and I wasn’t here and I had a few others… But eh, I got a glass of lemonade and decided I would go get some more sleep.
So between the 1AM wake up and my real wake up at 9:30, I had this really long, really weird, but really interesting dream. I remember it starting in school. I know there was stuff before it, but non of it was sticking. We all got on a bus that we couldn’t see where we were going. The bus took us to some museum type place that was like a big hole in the ground. I can remember walking in, and falling down it, and all that other kind of weird stuff. We explored it first and it was similar to like an Egyptian temple or Mayan, or something like that. Soon, someone mentioned that we should go lower and check out all the tourist stuff. I can remember that up until this point, most of my friends had been with me (they made up the class I was with).
But somehow, at this point in the story, I separate from the group. We end up in this big underground shopping mall. Imagine, the Mall of America, but bigger, underground, and more flee-market like. Actually, if you want how it really felt, it felt like innovations at Epcot in Disney world, except now instead of just having exhibits, they were selling things. I remember going really deep in the basement of the giant area and finding a video game store that sold all sorts of video games. They had Nintendo games, Virtual Boy games, everything I ever needed for my collection. I remember fighting a kid for some demo virtual boy game that I can remember only hearing the title once before my dream. It’s a foreign game, so like I said, kind of weird to have made it into my dream.
I ended up leaving with 4 virtual boy games *(all ones I don’t own in real life)* and 2 Nintendo games that I also don’t own. Mega Man 1 and Back to the Future, both in their boxesÂ… I don’t know, it was weird. I remember that I really needed to leave because I was going to miss the bus back but ended up stopping in yet another store to buy some more Nintendo games. Maybe this was some sort of connection in my brain that I need to get to Funcoland to redeem a receipt for a placed on hold video game at Funcoland. I wonder when they will callÂ…
I then ended up in some sort of Halloween land area, that was also related to the field trip I was on. For some reason, I was afraid for my life, and I can remember the houses being weird and some strange man taking my sideÂ… This isn’t to clear in my mind, and that might be because right when this was all happening, my dad woke me up for class and I was breathing heavily etc. I did end up falling back asleep and ending up in a continuation, but it didn’t stick with me like the first half did, and I don’t think it quite flowed with it either. All very strange if you ask me.
So I will stop the dream sequence there. You know, it’s kind of funny. On a day when you would think I did nothing *yesterday* I have a post the size of a small novel. The sad part is, I’m not done yet.
I haven’t been posting lately, and I think that spawns from sort lack of interest in being at my computer any longer than I need to be. Not really sure why. I could easily start playing UO again, get some work done for CSCI, or program the SMRCÂ… But no, I just don’t really want to be on a computer. I think it might have something to do with how being on the computer has turned from being something I do for free time into something I do for work. I’m not saying it isn’t fun, it just isn’t the fun I’m looking to have.
I think I posted this message the other day, I did defuse the bomb. That made me happy. It feels good to know that I understand ASM fairly well to get the bomb done so quickly. Who knows.
I should probably start mentioning what I did the rest of today, because that has happened too. Well, let me make it really short because it’s kind of pointless. After getting myself out of bed, I took a shower and darted to finish a lab report so that I could go to the U of M and not have to come back home and go back again. I finished my lab report just in time, maybe not quite to the quality I wanted, but pretty dang closeÂ… Enough to get me the A I want. I did make it there on time, right on time actually. I walked into lecture just as the professor was starting. Perfect. That allowed me to drop off my lab right after class and get out of the parking garage while only having to pay 2.50 for parking instead of the 5 dollars you have to pay if youÂ’re their over an hour. Woot. Saved me 2.50.
I then came home and played some piano. I’m having a really hard time picking up Foolish Games. The song has so many chords and in reality, I’m not that talented of a piano player. Not talented at all. So I guess you could say trying to learn this song for me is giving someone that knows little about cooking the ingredients and asking them to bake the worlds best cake. It just doesn’t happenÂ… Either way, I can play the first 8 measures, top and bottom, and play the next 6 or so on the top. Not quite good enough considering there are a lot more, but I’ll get itÂ… One day.. I’ll get it.
And now I am posting. This post was supposed to be completely different than how it turned out. Maybe I’ll try that later tonight. I wanted to start to implement design templates. One’s that did weird things to my text based on how it is entered and how I want it to be displayed. I donÂ’t know, I thought it might be cool. I wouldn’t put the whole site into these templates because it’s annoying, and I wouldn’t make them visible in the day either. They would be temporary thingsÂ… Well, maybe I would make them visible in The dayÂ… I’ll have to think about it. Like I said, perhaps I will try tonight.
Speaking of tonight, it’s Friday. I’m thinking movie night, but not really sure. Amber called earlier in this post, and she doesn’t have anything to do either, so maybe we both will do nothing together until something comes up. Don’t know, maybe she just wants to spend the time at home tonight. Maybe I just want to spend the time sleeping again. You’d think I’d be over that after 12 hours of it.
The snow is slowly letting up here. I think I am going to go get some pictures and scan them into my computer to post. I think it would be cool to get the picture database up to 1000 or so images of my life now, before and after. Maybe even with some memory’s attached. I might have to do some reorganizing if I get up to that many, but that’s OK.
So yeah, later post.
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