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What’s Real?

I just finished watching A Beautiful Mind and I seem to be feeling rather awkward. Many people have now see this happen to me. After watching certain movies, or doing certain things, my mind goes into a state of replication. It’s a very strange feeling, and at times a very painful one.

It’s an ability to grab hold onto something that isn’t there, and feel it. Much like the Dr. Nash’s problem. I don’t think I’m crazy in the clinical sense, but there is surely a need of attachment for me.

Take for example movies like Notting Hill. I love that movie. I just love it, but if you stop it somewhere in the middle, I’ll be strangly depressed the rest of the day. I’ll be trapped in that mood, that feeling. Same with TV shows, IE: BMW. It’s not good to let me watch the "Lauren Episodes" because it only leads to me being trapped inside such a stupid mistake. I don’t like the feeling of being trapped inside my own mind.

I’m not sure what it triggers from either, because it doesn’t happen 100% of the time. Take for example this last weekend. While in Nebraska, I managed to attach my voice to my cousin’s. From time to time over the next week, I will sound like my cousin. I believe the situation is related. My mind wants to adapt and conquer. It wants to be everything around it.

If you don’t believe me, just take a look at who I am on a daily basis. I use words like ye and aye, words I picked up in Ultima Online. I think logically most of the time, something I’ve picked up from programming and my computer. Everything I know about love either comes from Boy Meets World or my relationship with Amber. Quite honestly, I am my enviroment..

There you go science, someone who is truly adaptive and shows that a good number of human traits are surely enviromental and not genetic.

Interesting side note: want to see me stupid, put me with stupid people.

I would include a story about how this mind trap can get me in trouble, but I fear that I have already walked into this mind trap a little further than I had intended. Needless to say, the movie had an affect on me.

Amber and Nikki get back tonight. I have to pick them up at 11:30 which means little to no sleep for Justin tonight. YAY. At least I get to see my sweety. Boy am I really starting to miss her, and at the same time, getting excited to see her again. Like the expression goes, you never really realize how much you miss it till it’s gone.

I don’t think I made a report on Nascar for awhile so I’ll just state this, the car’s are basically on a two week vacation. They raced last saturday for money, not points, so I didn’t pay to much attention. Sounds like they all had a good time though.

As far as the server goes, it’s coming along nicely. I got Blaine set up with an account so he can hopefully start setting stuff up. Hopefully, that goes well for him. I still have some permissions things to work out with the server, and I will in good time. I ordered a new hard drive for it today, hopefully so I can get some backups going, as well as sent out the contract for a few revisions. Hopefully we’ll get that signed by Wednesday and get a move-in date scheduled for next week.

I better allocate this sunday or monday for time spent with the server.

Wow, I won’t be working to many more hours for the next few weeks. This week I’ll get something along the lines of 32 hours, next week it drops down to what looks to be something like 16 (possibily 24) which brings me basically to where I’m at during a normally school period. You’d think I’d be making a large sum more than I was during school, but really, when school stops, other stuff starts.

Other than that I don’t have much more to say today. I think I’m having way to much fun lately writing long pointless posts. Posts that only the bored would read. Perhaps I should do something about that.