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A Day of Solitude

As many of you know, Amber is gone for the weekend. That said, I had the whole day, and all of tomorrow, to do what I want without having to worry about hurting her in some indirect way. I know that sounds bad that I look forward to days like today, but honesty, from time to time, I think couples should have these days. Do I think you need to have these days: surely not, but do I think they can be good, definitely. That said, let me describe to you what has been the last 96 hours in very long and story like fashion.


Most of the week turned out to be chaos among order. Starting with a bid I failed to take. I donÂ’t want to get into any of the details because IÂ’m not one to tell a client they made a mistake, but itÂ’s pretty obvious when someoneÂ’s bid is 11,000 dollars less than the other peoples that even if the other person isnÂ’t as high a quality, you can surely make up for it with that money. They are still great clients and I still think highly of the operation they run.


Work was nothing special. 1000Â’s of lines of code, little to no innovation.


The surprise came Wednesday night. I had spent most of the evening with my sweetie at her house. We went out to dinner at Sgt. Peppers to say hi to Nikki and just see how she was doing. We try to help in whatever way we can, but thatÂ’s hard to do when helping means staying at a distance of some sort, or not. Afterwards, I headed over to AmberÂ’s house and played some cards with her dad. I must say that was the longest game of 500 IÂ’ve played in a long long time. I fell all the way to -480 only to come back and win about 15 hands later. Crazy huh? Sometime towards the middle of the game, I got a call I wasnÂ’t expectingÂ…


Sister: “Justin, where are you?”

Me: “Amber’s playing cards, why?”

Sister: “Kavin is with me and spending the night at our house tonight.”


There were a few well chosen words exchanged between the two of us about how I hadnÂ’t planned or made time for such an event. It put me in quite a position. So as soon as that game of 500 was done, I headed home to see him. He of course was the only one up when I got home, and we stayed up probably another 3 hours playing poker online. Yes, we are crazy.


Thursday happen to be the next day, so the one thing that worked out was that I had the day off from work to hang out with him. We woke up bright and early and went flying in the morning, which was fun, but I was so tired from the night before that I think I rather would have slept. We then proceeded back here where we found various things to do for the rest of the afternoon. This really put a nix on what I had planned for the day, including heading into MSA, and about a dozen other website related things. I still managed to get a good amount done, but not near as much as I would have liked.


That sums that up.

LetÂ’s jump to last night. I spent most of the night at the Mall of America with Amber and my momÂ’s side of the family. During which, my cousin talked me into the Arcade, which I know Amber didnÂ’t love, but I think she still had a good time. We played DDR for about an hour, and for the first time in about a month, I think I had worked up a sweat due to something other than the heat in my car. It was a good feeling.


The rest of the night I spent with Amber watching Boy Meets World episodes (ones Amber had possibly never seen). It was a good way to say goodbye before having to drop her off at her house for the weekend. IÂ’m praying both that she has a good time, stays safe, makes some friends, and is impacted by the event.


Then todayÂ… my day of solitude rolled around. I started off by sleeping. I slept hard and strong, just laying there probably for a good 15 minutes. I then crawled out of bed and made my way for the computer where I sat down and stared at the screen for a moment. I then put some clothes on and stumbled around the house for about an hour.


After finding that I was both missing Amber and extremely bored, I decided to see what was on TV. TBS happen to have a particular good lineup this afternoon with Save the Last Dance, Rain Main, and Die Hard 2. All movies I had seen before, but basically, it consumed my entire day. I didnÂ’t just sit there though, I played on my computer. I didnÂ’t work. I played. By the time Die Hard 2 got over my mind was in lockout. That point where you havenÂ’t done everything all day, you know you havenÂ’t done anything all day, and you canÂ’t find the motivation or energy to do anything else. For those of you who still donÂ’t know what emotion IÂ’m talking about, it feels very similar to the feeling one gets after eating too much turkey on Thanksgiving.


Seeing as it was 10, I thoughtÂ… Exercise felt good last night, why not work out for an hour, take a shower, and head for bed. I started playing DDR and continued to do so for about an hour. ItÂ’s amazing how I donÂ’t feel like IÂ’ve gotten to much worse, but IÂ’m know IÂ’m not where I was at in the game. I think if I can figure out how to make the time, I want to try to work DDR into my morning routine. That means more sleep.


From DDR it was time to take a shower. On the spur of the moment, I decided I wanted to use my mom and dads Jacuzzi. They are both out of town for the weekend on a trip to 3MÂ’s ultimate resort. Pretty cool place from what they tell me. I spend the next hour in extremely hot water with lots of bubbles. While there, I came up with metaphor:


“Life is like bubbles in the bathtub. Each bubble representing a human and how small, and short our lives truly are, yet when we are combined we make a wonderful and diverse society. The bubbles need to be created with bubble soap and energy from the jets, just like we need to be created by love and God.”


Wow, deep for a bubble bath.


I spent the next 5 minutes trying to get out of the bath. I found that I had hit that dangerous point near passing out. I did manage to get out of the bath though and make it downstairs where I laid peacefully on my bed for about 10 minutes while my heart calmed down.


Now, here I amÂ… Very much awake, but very relaxed. I still miss Amber, but I think I found both motivation and a peace of mind that I havenÂ’t had for sometime. ItÂ’s been a good day, and although I donÂ’t think IÂ’m going to slack like this tomorrow, I must sayÂ… It was still a great day.


So that was my day. I think IÂ’m going to write a little more tonight on my book and perhaps do a little more work on some sites and stuff and then head to bed. Sleep well world, and remember that sometimes you should slow it all down.


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