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James: Status Report Mr. Spock

Spock: It seems captain, that we have managed to finish our lab report in time for starfleet command. They said since we did that, we can dock.

James: Then make it so Mr. Spock, this ship needs a good shower.. I mean washing.

Spock: Aye yi Captain

James: Mr. Scott, how are my engines doing?

Scotty: They’re still a little clogged with that muckus stuff we picked up on galaxian prime, but she’ll hold together.

James: Alright, Mr. Sulu, status report.

Sulu: Everything fine here captain, we’re right on course for today.

James: Communications

Ohera: It seems captain that we are getting a distress call from some location. It’s hard to make out what it’s saying and it’s the same one we’ve been hearing for some time. What would you like me to do about it captain?

James: Take note of it in the logs and continue to ignore it. I have a feeling that distress call only means our certain doom.

Ohera: Aye Yi Captain

James: Doctor, have you found anyway to get rid of the muckus thats now infecting our ship and members?
Mccoy: Dammit Jim, I’m working as hard as I can, and we seem to be finding things that are working, but give me time. I’m a doctor Jim, not a miracle worker!

James: you’ve got 5 minutes. Chekov, status report.
Chekov: Armed and ready.. Hey what’s this button do…
James: Uh… Chekov…
*Pushes Button*
Chekov: Oh I see.. it ends this post…

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